Gloom

It is gloomy. The rain has been trickling down from grey skies all morning. And it's Monday. I hate Mondays. Especially gloomy Mondays that start with a high. After going to bed with a very respectable 121, I woke up this morning with a very frustrating 165. The last few nights I have experienced seemingly unjustified high blood sugars after dinner. Last night, I finally caught on. I double my dinner dose. And it worked! Well... Apparently not. I am struggling to hang on to the inspiring words that my yoga teacher shared with us yesterday: Life is not a given right, it is a gift. So I look outside and force myself to say, "Oh good, rain. We can really use it. It's been such a dry spring. I will enjoy this rain (and this gloom)." And I look at my monitor and clench my teeth in a smile, "I will enjoy this opportunity to listen to my disease and understand what it is telling me" (even though I cannot possibly wrap my mind around what the hell is going on here). I say these things aloud, but I still slump my shoulders and stare out the window with a frown because the grey skies make me depressed, the random imperfect blood sugars make me angry, and because the new iBGStar smartphone glucose monitor is only for the iPhone (come on Android! Does Apple have to win at everything!?).

I can sit here and bitch all morning (and I am compelled to). Or I can get up, put on my rain jacket and go for a run. The rain will energize me. The run will tame the rising sugars. And the post workout rush will make this Monday (maybe) a little more tolerable. Again I say it, this time aloud:

"Life is not a given right. It is a gift. Live in every moment. Take nothing for granted."

(Not even gloomy Mondays. Someday those will be gone too.)